Wow. Blogging again, I see.
I hope this doesn't become a thing.
I have to tell you, the last few days have been a bit rough. Sam, our 2 year old who runs our household, decided not to sleep. Like, the whole night. No sleep.
"Can't sleep..." he says. "Can't do it..." I start out soft, cooing and patting. After the 4th hour though? 2 in the morning? The patting got a bit harder. The cooing got a bit louder.
And yet he did not sleep. "Can't do it..." he says. As if it was a stubborn LEGO piece he was casually trying to unsnap.
"Sam, you have to go to sleep. Everyone else is sleeping. Mommy's sleeping. (Bit of a lie there..she was as NOT sleeping as I was) The other kids are sleeping. It's time to go to bed."
"Can't do it..." he says.
Big props to my wife who finally took him in to our bed while I slept downstairs on our couch. That is, until, the other two kids who on the first day of Spring Break decided to get up at 6:30 and turn on the TV...which is in the room with the couch.
But it got me thinking today. Can't do it. I guess I'd like to think I teach my kids to CAN DO, that can't is not in their vocabulary, that I don't want them to quit on things, or just get so frustrated that they scream I CAN'T DO IT and walk away.
But Sam wasn't saying that. He wasn't upset, frustrated or mad. It was basically like him saying, "I've thought about it, this 'sleep' that you are referring to. I see that you placed me in my bed, which is used for sleeping, so you've given me everything that I need to accomplish this goal. While it sounds nice, while it may make things easier on you...I've decided I'm going to go in another direction. I can't do that. I'm going to stay awake."
How often do we softly say that? People, good or bad, make demands on us. Demands of our time, our talent, what have you. How often do we say, "Yes, I hear what you are saying. It makes a certain amount of sense, you have set me up to accomplish what it is you want me to do...but no, thank you, I can't do that."
I'm guessing you might do what everyone does from time to time, which is capitulate, overschedule, stress out and cram, all because you feel an obligation. Well, they're ASKING me, so I can't say NO...
I'll put it to you this way. What is the worst thing that can happen, if you don't jump when other people ask you to? What is the worst thing that can happen if, after the initial "I can't do that", they take it even further, trying to guilt you into doing it? What would happen if, God forbid, the other people got upset that you won't do it?
Folks, the worst thing that can happen is they eventually find someone else to ask and leave you alone. :)
Sam didn't sleep. It was tiresome for us, but he stuck to his guns, and funny enough, was in a great mood this morning. He didn't care about our lack of sleep; Sam was fine. Regardless of how frustrating it was, Sam made a boundary and kept it.
How many of us do that?
I hope this doesn't become a thing.
I have to tell you, the last few days have been a bit rough. Sam, our 2 year old who runs our household, decided not to sleep. Like, the whole night. No sleep.
"Can't sleep..." he says. "Can't do it..." I start out soft, cooing and patting. After the 4th hour though? 2 in the morning? The patting got a bit harder. The cooing got a bit louder.
And yet he did not sleep. "Can't do it..." he says. As if it was a stubborn LEGO piece he was casually trying to unsnap.
"Sam, you have to go to sleep. Everyone else is sleeping. Mommy's sleeping. (Bit of a lie there..she was as NOT sleeping as I was) The other kids are sleeping. It's time to go to bed."
"Can't do it..." he says.
Big props to my wife who finally took him in to our bed while I slept downstairs on our couch. That is, until, the other two kids who on the first day of Spring Break decided to get up at 6:30 and turn on the TV...which is in the room with the couch.
But it got me thinking today. Can't do it. I guess I'd like to think I teach my kids to CAN DO, that can't is not in their vocabulary, that I don't want them to quit on things, or just get so frustrated that they scream I CAN'T DO IT and walk away.
But Sam wasn't saying that. He wasn't upset, frustrated or mad. It was basically like him saying, "I've thought about it, this 'sleep' that you are referring to. I see that you placed me in my bed, which is used for sleeping, so you've given me everything that I need to accomplish this goal. While it sounds nice, while it may make things easier on you...I've decided I'm going to go in another direction. I can't do that. I'm going to stay awake."
How often do we softly say that? People, good or bad, make demands on us. Demands of our time, our talent, what have you. How often do we say, "Yes, I hear what you are saying. It makes a certain amount of sense, you have set me up to accomplish what it is you want me to do...but no, thank you, I can't do that."
I'm guessing you might do what everyone does from time to time, which is capitulate, overschedule, stress out and cram, all because you feel an obligation. Well, they're ASKING me, so I can't say NO...
I'll put it to you this way. What is the worst thing that can happen, if you don't jump when other people ask you to? What is the worst thing that can happen if, after the initial "I can't do that", they take it even further, trying to guilt you into doing it? What would happen if, God forbid, the other people got upset that you won't do it?
Folks, the worst thing that can happen is they eventually find someone else to ask and leave you alone. :)
Sam didn't sleep. It was tiresome for us, but he stuck to his guns, and funny enough, was in a great mood this morning. He didn't care about our lack of sleep; Sam was fine. Regardless of how frustrating it was, Sam made a boundary and kept it.
How many of us do that?
No comments:
Post a Comment