Ah, The List

Okay, so every time I sit down to blog, I feel like it has to be this hysterically funny, profoundly deep, life-changing dissertation that people will take and use on a daily basis, to better themselves, ultimately giving me the credit for being so inspiring.

Then I realized that the groups that listen to me the most are kids under 8 and women over 65.

And unless someone draws me a picture with crayon or leaves me a large sum of money in their will, I don't know if I'm even reaching them, either.

That being said, I'm going to give you readers a list. It's not THE LIST, or The One List To Rule Them All, or even The List That Shall Not Be Named. It's just a list of things that I think are profound.

Plus, people like lists. Unless of course, they're in a boat taking on water.

The boat is listing from side to..ah forget it. (I hate when I have to explain the joke.)

Adam's Great List Of Important Things

1. It doesn't matter what age you are or what country you're from, if someone sneezes and farts at the same time, it's hilarious.

2. You have no sense of humor if you can't laugh at yourself.

3. The things that you find yourself irritated about are probably the same things that others find irritating about you.

4. People who claim to know everything are incredibly annoying to those of us that actually do.

5. Messy is okay, as long as messy isn't lazy messy. Lazy messy is bad. Lazy messy can pile on top of just regular old messy, and then it's really bad. It takes like, way longer to clean up.

6. My dad taught me once that poop washes off. How true is THAT.

7. No one is going to really know what kind of dream you had last night, no matter how hard you try to explain it to them.

8. People can be taught leadership skills, and people can learn leadership skills, but that doesn't make them a leader. Sometimes it just means that they're a really good test taker.

9. You can't teach someone who doesn't want to be taught any more than you can get old people to stop driving in that imaginary lane on the highway.

10. The only way that you can get summer to slow down is to learn to enjoy being bored.

11. People can change. It's just really, really hard.

12. Kids today need heroes. It's just sad that this world is so quick to find the kryptonite.

13. I cannot do two things at the same time, and neither should you. I tried to text while driving, and I realized that I was holding my breath because I forgot to breathe. I can listen to you while you are talking to me, but if there's something else in my hands (like a sandwich) all I can think about is 'yummy sandwich'.

14. That #12 was a really good one, I'd write that down somewhere.

I'm sure that I could sit here for an extended period of time and write out more. My well runs deep, folks. I just know that there are other things to be done, and other things that I should be doing. However, I'll leave you with #15, which is a GREAT one that I've heard several times from several different sources.

15. You can only say "No" to something when you have a bigger "Yes".

I have SUCH a hard time saying "no" to people; until I found that if I had a bigger "yes". All that means is if I had something that I felt was more important, needed more of my time, and was integral to what God has called me to do, then saying "no" became WAY easier. I want to help others, I want to lend my time and talent all the time, but I have found that I can be way more effective by focusing on one thing that's in my lane rather than trying to keep 15 plates spinning.

Stick that mixed metaphor on your list. :)