Ah, The List

Okay, so every time I sit down to blog, I feel like it has to be this hysterically funny, profoundly deep, life-changing dissertation that people will take and use on a daily basis, to better themselves, ultimately giving me the credit for being so inspiring.

Then I realized that the groups that listen to me the most are kids under 8 and women over 65.

And unless someone draws me a picture with crayon or leaves me a large sum of money in their will, I don't know if I'm even reaching them, either.

That being said, I'm going to give you readers a list. It's not THE LIST, or The One List To Rule Them All, or even The List That Shall Not Be Named. It's just a list of things that I think are profound.

Plus, people like lists. Unless of course, they're in a boat taking on water.

The boat is listing from side to..ah forget it. (I hate when I have to explain the joke.)

Adam's Great List Of Important Things

1. It doesn't matter what age you are or what country you're from, if someone sneezes and farts at the same time, it's hilarious.

2. You have no sense of humor if you can't laugh at yourself.

3. The things that you find yourself irritated about are probably the same things that others find irritating about you.

4. People who claim to know everything are incredibly annoying to those of us that actually do.

5. Messy is okay, as long as messy isn't lazy messy. Lazy messy is bad. Lazy messy can pile on top of just regular old messy, and then it's really bad. It takes like, way longer to clean up.

6. My dad taught me once that poop washes off. How true is THAT.

7. No one is going to really know what kind of dream you had last night, no matter how hard you try to explain it to them.

8. People can be taught leadership skills, and people can learn leadership skills, but that doesn't make them a leader. Sometimes it just means that they're a really good test taker.

9. You can't teach someone who doesn't want to be taught any more than you can get old people to stop driving in that imaginary lane on the highway.

10. The only way that you can get summer to slow down is to learn to enjoy being bored.

11. People can change. It's just really, really hard.

12. Kids today need heroes. It's just sad that this world is so quick to find the kryptonite.

13. I cannot do two things at the same time, and neither should you. I tried to text while driving, and I realized that I was holding my breath because I forgot to breathe. I can listen to you while you are talking to me, but if there's something else in my hands (like a sandwich) all I can think about is 'yummy sandwich'.

14. That #12 was a really good one, I'd write that down somewhere.

I'm sure that I could sit here for an extended period of time and write out more. My well runs deep, folks. I just know that there are other things to be done, and other things that I should be doing. However, I'll leave you with #15, which is a GREAT one that I've heard several times from several different sources.

15. You can only say "No" to something when you have a bigger "Yes".

I have SUCH a hard time saying "no" to people; until I found that if I had a bigger "yes". All that means is if I had something that I felt was more important, needed more of my time, and was integral to what God has called me to do, then saying "no" became WAY easier. I want to help others, I want to lend my time and talent all the time, but I have found that I can be way more effective by focusing on one thing that's in my lane rather than trying to keep 15 plates spinning.

Stick that mixed metaphor on your list. :)

Some Much Time And So Little To Do

Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

Thank you.

I find myself, often times, at a loss as to where to start. Not because I'm unmotivated, nor because I don't have goals.

I have too many.

Take our house, for instance. Do we spend money on landscaping? Do we use that money to build a much needed deck? Finish the basement, so when we have people over, we can shuffle the kids downstairs and let them break THAT part of the house instead of the rest of it?

Maybe we should save the money. Yes, that's the smart thing to do, in these economic times. Save. Don't spend.

With the kid's department it's no different. Should I work on those videos that have been sitting in my office, so we can update the website? Compile the sermons into a cohesive curriculum? Work on the physical space, so the kids have a cool, themed environment? Have the Heroic Boys and Beautiful Girls weekends we have put off for a year? Work on that volunteer cookout? Redo the room and set up a Kindergarten class to ease the gap between the 5's class and Faith Kids?

Maybe we should just keep doing what we're doing. After all, it's working. It's not broken. Yes, that's the smart thing to do, in these economic times. Save. Reuse. Don't spend.

...

...

Yeah, I can't do that. I can't sit. I can't just not do anything. Ask my wife. I'm in horrible moods when I don't have my hands on some kind of plow. 3 years straight with 3 albums and a huge club curriculum, and I figured I needed some "time off".

...

...

Yeah, I can't do that. I, probably like most of you, need something to do. It's not boredom, persay, it's just a feeling of uselessness. I find that I'm at my most creative when I'm in the process of being creative. If there isn't a goal to attain, I feel like I'm filling up a pool with a big hole in the side.

So, I'll just do it all. Isn't that the Walsh way, after all? Have a baby, move into a new house, write a show, run a ministry all during Christmas?

Landscaping, done. Onto the deck.

RED music book done. Onto YELLOW.

Contacts made in the industry. Onto follow-up.

If you are feeling like you are in a rut, it's quite possible that you have too many things to do, or too many things that you think you could do, or have to do. Pick one. Do it. Move on.

That's what you do with your nose, why should your goals be any different?

We Can Still Be Friends...

At the end of the day there's another day dawning. I can't think of that song from Les Mis any more without thinking of the lyrics that Forbidden Broadway changed..."At the end of the show we're another year older...sitting flat on our butts for three hours or more..."

I'd sing it for ya, but...it's a blog.

And here it is, at the end of the day, and I find myself taking stock more often than usual. Did I get what I set out to do done? Did I accomplish all of the things on my "Action Item" list? Am I further ahead now than I was at 8:00 a.m. this morning?

No, no, and a little.

What is it about these kinds of days? Anyone else deal with this? I'm ultra-uber-motivated until I actually sit at my computer. I'm ready to take on any task until I sit in this particular room. It's like the will to create is sucked out of me.

You know what I think? I think it's the room.

It's yellow. Not a fun yellow, but a faded, pale, Walmart yellow-colored roses yellow. Not mustard. Not sunshine. Ick. The more I look at it the more I don't like it.

Actually, I can't look at it that long, because I have to look at my fingers when I type. Hang on a sec.

Yeah, it's terrible.

I need a change of scenery. I tell that to Courtney all the time, when Sam is crabbing his way through the day. "Maybe he needs a change of scenery" I say, thinking that it's a cure-all. And you know what? I might be smarter than I think. Anyone else find this to be true? I used to refocus and recharge by whipping someone's tail in a quick game of online Scrabble...but that's lost it's power.

I'm going to change offices. It's a done deal. I'm having an office mid-life crisis. I need to dump my office and start dating other offices.

It's not you, office, I swear, it's me. It's just something I need to do.

We had some good times, office. 'Member? That one time, when I wrote that song in you with the door shut? 'Member?

It's...just time to move on. I feel like I need to see other rooms. No, your walls are fine. Yes, your desk is pretty, and I'll still think of you every time I have a private phone conversation, but it's something I feel I have to do. For me.

I hope one day you'll grow to forgive me. I hope one day you'll understand.

We can still be friends. And maybe you'll find that full-time guy or girl to fulfill your needs...and your black office chair. Maybe it will be wonderful.

Sigh.

I'm going to walk around the building and put out the vibe. See if any offices are single, looking for a SWM, Taurus, likes to work long hours and enjoys food at his desk.

Oh, This Is Good Stuff.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm a leadership junkie.

I have recently purchased a new book by Bill Hybels, entitled AXIOM. Powerful Leadership Proverbs, it says on the front. I started glancing through it last week, and really dove into it today. It's meaty, relational, accessible and personal.

And that was just the first two "proverbs". Here's a sneak peek:

"The nature of human beings is such that we tend not to drift into better behaviors. We usually have to be asked by someone to consider taking it up a level. In my own life, I've rarely made a sizable step forward -- spiritually, physically, emotionally, or otherwise -- unless someone asked me to do so."

Makes you think. Made me think. I tended to think that I was putting people out by asking them to jump on board with a project, or a vision for the ministry. They don't have the time, I would reason. I'd be putting them out, I would think. Or, one of the biggest ones, what if they say 'no'. The truth of the matter is that on the whole, people are flattered when you ask them to participate in something, especially something big, and MORE especially (especially-er) if it's something for God.

People are flattered when thought of. Aren't you?

I am doing a walk to raise money for AIDS, and we have giveaway baskets. I thought of you, and was wondering if you could donate your kids' CD's to the basket.

Heck, yes!

I want to create a kid's choir, and I'm not sure where to start. Could you help me get started, maybe help me plan some ideas for enrollment and rehearsals?

You know it!

So why, then, do I balk at asking people to step it up? Why do you, then, oh Ye Faithful Eight Readers, hesitate to ask people for things? Favors? Money? Skills? Input?

I think it's because we don't know them. We don't know their skills, and we don't know what they can and can't do. Shoot, they might not even know it. When you know your people and God places a plan in your path, then you're more apt to get that face in your mind's eye, the divine fit, the ohmygoshthey'dbePERFECTforthis moment. Once you know them, rethink your plan, and see who God wants to use to make it happen.

You'll begin to see things in people that they don't see in themselves. You'll be the one to ask them to step up. Take more responsiblity. And honestly, you'll be okay with them saying 'no', if they do. You are bound to be obedient to God's prompting to ask, not bound to forcing someone to do something.

Oh, this stuff is good. I've always been a quick "coach to court" leader. What the coach corrects on the bench during a timeout in the game I walk out on the court and do it.

I'm going to re-read this post, re-read that second chapter, and then see what I can do about it.

You're Bad, Muriel.

Okay, so I'm a Chldren's Pastor, right? I'm supposed to love all things young and short, right? If it's under the age of 10, I'm just supposed to minister, and understand, and be patient, and rejoice in planting Jesus seeds, right?

Hmm.

Could be losing my mojo.

We took a mini-vacation into Chicago this past week. It was more for the kids, because there was really nothing relaxing about it, except for the 5 hours of sleep that my wife and I got. We drove in, went to the Shedd Aquarium, stayed in a hotel, swam in the pool. You know...vacation stuff. It was fun, the kids thought it was a blast. We decided to end the vacation with a trip to the LegoLand Store in Shaumburg.

--ALERT--

Incredibly overpriced. Cool concept, big things built out of LEGOs, but really pretty expensive for playing with LEGOs and a lame EPCOT-wannabe ride. Just sayin'.

--ALERT--

So. Fam's in the LEGO cafe. There's a play structure in one corner, with a slide, and those cubes that look like mini jails stacked on one another. Some poor kid was on the top one with the mesh net and the plastic bubble window, carving tally marks into the safety foam with a pin from his glasses. Other kids were running, shoeless and parentless, around the outside, up the cubes, down the slide and around again. Our kids' eyes looked at Courtney and I, wide with anticipitory excitement, and we both said, "Okay, go play. Be careful! Have fun!"

All that was left were clouds in the shape of our kids, like the Road Runner.

We sat near, to keep an eye, and an Asian lady sat next to us to do the same. We both noticed her kids, insanely cute, were being blocked by another boy. They were trying to get past to ride the slide, but this boy was blocking the way.

We'll call him "Malachi". You know, from Children of the Corn?

Malachi blocked the way, but then actually grabbed one of the Asian kids and was shaking her. Malachi's about, oh, 7 or 8, and wee little Asian girl about, oh, 5. Her mom got up and told the boy politely to stop, but there was an obvious language barrier.

Asian to English, not adult to 8 year old.

When he did it again, I got up this time. Not my kid, not my place, I'm on vacation. But I got up nevertheless and got the kid's attention, and in my best "stern Dad voice", I said, "Quit it. NOW." Malachi looked back at me, like the Dilophosaurus looked at Nedry in Jurassic Park, head cocked with an "I wonder if I spat poison in his eye he'd be good to eat", and then ran off.

Malachi kept terrorizing. I told an employee. The employee talked to him, and Dilophosaurus-Malachi did the same thing, only this time, I think I did see a bit of green poison vomit splat on "Hello, My Name Is Jeff"'s glasses. The reprimand didn't stop Malachi, didn't even slow him down.

Then he started blocking MY kids. I was really getting hot, and all I could think of was finding this kid's parents and reading them the Riot Act, along with a few choice Scriptures. But then, oh then, Faithful Reader, God smiled on us all.

Malachi went down the tube slide and stayed at the bottom, trying to block whomever came down next. Ethan, MY Ethan, my wonderfully sweet boy, comes flying down the slide, feet-first, and nails Malachi square in the back hard enough to make his stomach arch out and sprawl off the slide a good four feet. Ethan didn't do it on purpose, but if he did, I would've given him a trophy.Malachi stood up, looking wildly around, holding his back, and with tears in his eyes, ran off to his mommy.

I'm not quite sure, but I think I heard a collective "Huzzah!" from inside the jail cubes, and kids emerged, sheilding their eyes from lack of exposure to the florescent bulbs, and then Asians of all sizes hoisted Ethan up on their shoulders, heralding him as King of the LegoLand Playstructure.

I might of made that last bit up, but I have a real question. Am I a bad person for thinking that was the best thing that could've happened? Am I not fit for kid's ministry because I secretly wanted Malachi to have an accident?

I hate to admit it, but I leaned over to Courtney and said, "That was the best thing that could've happened."

My finger hurts.

Have you ever gotten a hangnail on the side of, say, your left ring finger, and tried to pull it off only to succeed in pulling in down into the skin on the side of your fingernail? Then you try to bite it off, and only get a piece of it, while there still a small sliver still attached deep in there? It's not so bad right at the beginning, but then it gets red and irritated, and you still haven't gotten that little piece out, and a Band-Aid won't help, because now ANY pressure that's put on the side makes it throb even more?

My finger hurts.

It even hurts to type, but hey, that's how dedicated I am to my eight faithful followers.

Blog through the pain, my pappy always used to say.

At any rate, I feel as though everything on this blog needs to be profound; needs to be a nugget of truth that people are simultaneously inspired and confounded by. It's with this mandate that I sit, gingerly typing without my left ring finger.

And I got nuthin'.

No inspiring words, no quips with quibbles quaint, no Good-Lord-This-Man-Is-A-Genius solutions. I have a feeling that this blog post is going to end like The Happening did the other night, with a, "....and...it's over? You've GOT to be kidding me..." and then some cursing.

So, to pass the time before you get to the abrupt end, I figured I'd make a list of what's on my mind right now.

- I'm meeting with a group called "The Think Tank" tonight, and it's basically the highlight of my month. I'm getting ready to get inspired, to think deep thinks, and solve the world's problems.

- I'd love to go on a vacation, but I'm hesitant for a couple of reasons. I'm not sure how my 1 year old will travel, and I'm not sure how I will travel. I like my house, I just don't want people to know I'm there.

- I've written several more Memory Verses, but I have to figure out a way to make them more effective in the service. Repeat them, maybe, the next week or two? I should write them down and keep them separate, too. My daughter was singing a song that I had totally forgotten I'd written.

- It bothers me that there are 4 times as many handicapped parking spots as there are handicapped people.

- Some of my favorite words? Kiosk. Slacks. Gobsmacked. Truncated. Maybe it's the hard "k" sound. But then again, I don't like the word "killer", especially when used as an adjective. Then again again, maybe I just don't like surfers.

- Everyone should read Dave Barry.

- Lastly, before I forget, and this is the most important thing, don't ever forget to...

Faith Kids Blue on iTunes!! FINALLY!

It's up! It's here! It's Blue, and it can be yours for the low, low price of .99 cents per song!

I heart iTunes.

Alright, people. Let's sell this thing. If you liked RED and YELLOW, BLUE is going to rock your socks off. And I mean, literally off. Have slippers handy.

Down at the bottom of the page is a link to iTunes, with all of the songs. Want just one? You can buy them individually. Want the whole album?? You can do that too!

This post is going on Facebook as well. Let's get the word out!!