I'm growing up. Right before your eyes. Although I'm done growing taller (much to my disdain..wish I was a baller...) and some days seem like I'm growing wider, there is one aspect that can't really be tracked, or documented with specifics.
Maturity. I think I'm maturing.
Like a cheese, or a fine wine. Jeff Dunham's puppet says that his wife is not aging like a fine wine...she's aging like milk.
I'm not aging like milk. I feel like I'm aging like a wall in a house that has gone through 8 or 9 owners; and each liked their own color.
I have come to realize that I really AM an onion.
Yes, I make people cry uncontrollably by releasing sulfenic acids, thus giving way to enzymes (that were kept separate) that mix with the sulfenic acids to produce propanethiol S-oxide, a volatile sulfur compound that wafts upward toward the eyes. This gas reacts with the water in your tears to form sulfuric acid. The sulfuric acid burns, stimulating your eyes to release more tears to wash the irritant away.
But I also have many layers. Like an onion. Many subtle layers. Like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters 2, when asked about his laundry.
"There's not just two states of laundry: clean and dirty. There are mant subtle levels...see? Take this shirt. Hang this outside the window? In 10 minutes it's perfectly fine."
That's me. Hang me outside the window and ten minutes later I'm perfectly fine.
But more than that, I find that I'm less and less reactive. Maybe that's just youth, being blown about tither and yon from field to field, trying this and crying over that. Now, however, I find that I'm a steadier person. A more thoughtful person, and also a person who is not nodding just because someone else is talking.
Ever caught yourself doing that? Lacing a conversation with "yeahs" and "uh-huhs", (really just wanting to get your two cents in), but subconsciously nodding in agreement, regardless of what the other person is saying?
I don't do that anymore. I listen to what they are actually saying, and I either agree or disagree, thoughtfully and prayerfully. It's amazing to find out what people are actually saying. AND it's amazing that then you are clear on what you agree or disagree with; there's no misunderstanding.
I'm an onion. I'm an enigma. Wrapped in a paradox.
Covered in secret sauce.